%%%%                    Life of a Desi Grad                         %%%%
    %%%%                                                                %%%%
    %%%%     A Skit Presented at the Diwali Function of U of Iowa       %%%%
    %%%%                     November 6, 1994                           %%%%
    %%%%                                                                %%%%
    %%%%                   Approx time : 18 mins                        %%%%
    %%%%           (Insprired by a Sami article on RMIM)                %%%%
    %%%%                                                                %%%%
    %%%%           %%%%

(background Jalwa music..)
        Dekho Dekho .. ye hai Iowa ..
        Dekho Dekho .. ye hai Iowa ..

What follows is NOT fiction.
Every single event is plagiarized from real life.
Dissimilarity to incidents in a students life is purely
coincidental and uninteneded !

Hmm ..The sequence of events you are about to witness
is about JAY, a bright, young, engg student whois on his
way to Iowa City from India. 
He is excited, full of hopes and dreams about the two
years he plans to spend in Iowa City earning his masters.

So here he is on the Cedar rapids airport, his eyes
trying to grasp everything in one snapshot ..
Jay hopes what he has heard about US is really true !..
but at the top certainly there is a prime thought..

        Bachana e hasino .. lo mai aa gayaa
        ..................... hai hai ..

The ISA guy is there to receive him ..
Jay reaches Iowa City but pretty soon realizes life in US is
not really a bed of rose .. after three days he still doesnt
have an apartment, no roommates and offcourse no furniture..
bichara sleeping on carpet ..
        Rahane ko ghar nahi, sone ko bistar nahi
        Apana khuda hai rakhawaala ..
        Ab tak usine hai paala ..

he finally gets an apartment, guess where ?? U got it ..Seville apts
the desi-land .. finds another girl staying in opp apt ..

        mere saamane waali khidaki mai, 
                ek chaand ka tukda rahata hai

(but the girl close the window ..)
his designs dont work out, his wierdo roommates .. Seville .. 
suffocates him

        Ye duniya, ye Seville mere kaamaka nahi
                              mere kaamaka nahi 
Jay slowly settles in his academic life, he is made TA of
an undergrad class ..
and one fine day ..
a cute girl comes up to his office seeking help
with one of her assignments, ..

        yeh kaali kaali aankhe, ye gore gore gaal
        ...........             ye hirani jaisi chaal ..
        dekha jo tuze jaanam , hua hai bura haaaaaaal ..

but his love-fantasy lasts as long as the assignments ..

(initial music of song .. the girl goes to other end,
  saying bye-bye..while Jay requests her to stop ..
  then suddenly becomes stiff ..)

        ab tere bin .. jilenge hum ..
        jahar jundagi ka .. pilenge hum ..

The fall semester is over ..
Our heartbroken hero faces a lonely and depressing
winter break ..
Homesickness creeps in ..
His only solace .. the telephone .. 011-91-titi tata tititut
Jay truly believes that he's friends and family with MCI ..
he thinks he is saving megabucks when he calls India ..
But alas ! comes the phone bill and with it a monstrous figure ..

        ho .. Dhaak Dhaak karane laga ..
        oh .. mora jiyara darane laga ..

Angry he calls up MCI ..

        mere sawaalo ka .. jawaab do .. 

Life moves fast in spring and summer ..
Back to school in Fall, the campus is alive..
a surge of new students ..
fresh faces everywhere ..
Jay finds a new hope in the form of a new desi student ..
He likes her from the moment she allows him to pick her bags ..
Jay goes out of his way to help her .. u know ..
apartment - department ..

        dekho jara dekho ..barsat ki lagi hai ..
        tan ko bhigoye .. bundo ki ladi hai ..
        mousam suhana hai .. kya aashikaana hai ..
        bajane lagi hai tik-tik .. dil ki ghadi 

finally he musters up enough courage to ask her for a movie..
but reply milata hai ..

        girl :  socha tha .. ha karadoo,
                mai tera .. dil bharadoo ..

        guy :   phir kaahe, naa karadi
                mai sabako jaa karadoo

        girl : maine badal diya irada

bichaara Jay .. but he finds out why this denial ..
he realizes is fighting a loosing battle ..
Jay doesnt have a car ! a car that can take her to
grocery .. a car to pick-n-drop her from her dept ..

but all he has is a bike, and no car ..
he tries to argue his case ..

        chaandi ki cycle, sone ki seat,
        aao chalo darling chale double-seat

(but she leaves .. goes away ..)

        dil ko dekho gaadi na dekho,
        gaadi ne laakho ko luta

Jay vows to buy a car A.S.A.P ..
but then he also wants to go to India in december ..
a difficult choice ..
car or India ..?        
finally after spending days haggling with travel agents,
he books tickets with 5 agents .. finally buys one ..


after coming back from India in January,
Jay realizes time is running out if he has to
graduate by May-June ..
like a true hindustani, he works very hard day in and 
day out
his day starts with thesis and end with thesis ..

        aanko me tu hai, khaabo me tu hai ..
        aankhe band karalo to dil me bhi tu hai ..
        khaabo me tu ..saason me tu ..

he thinks the thesis is done, 
but you know .. the prof thinks there's a lot left
Things like more dumb figures, extra tables ..

Jay bechara tries to argue with his advisor ..
But as they say .. when dealing with advisors ..the best policy is ..

        kuchh na kaho .. kuchh bhi na kaho
        kya kahana hai .. kya sunana hai ..
        muzako pata hai .. tumako pata hai ..

By now ..he gets pretty sick of his thesis 
Job, vagaira .. to he is not at all in mood to look for ..
he starts spending hrs and hrs in front of the computer ..
Ahuhhm .. not for his thesis anymore ..
Area of interest ? females no more !
its email ..
(background :
                tere saath hai kitana pyaara
                kam lagata hai, jivan saara

                hame aana padega duniya me dubara
suddenly he realizes..., 
there is no better friend than email
he starts coming late to the dept just to check his email,
hoping there's atleast one new email ..and when there is not ..
he gets pretty upset ..he logs on 6 times in 7 minutes..

        intehaa ho gayi intejaar ki,
        aayina kuchh khabar, mere yaar ki ..

and then

        oo mere sajana lo mai aagayi
        oo mere sajana lo mai aagayi ..

from email he moves on to telnet, FTP, gopher, Mosaic,
but realizes his thesis is jaise-the ..
he thinks he never going to graduate .., 
remembers those days when his family,
          his neighbors looked upto him, 
flashback ..

          papa kahate hai bada kaam karega,
          beta hamara eisa naam karega ..
          magar ye to koi naa jaane,
          ke meri manzil hai kaaha ..

and realizes that its rather true, he really
doesnt know what his manzil, his goal is !

he is tired of everything ..
what a life he has ..
he is like a kati patang ..
na koi dhaaga .. na koi khichanewaala ..
he starts wondering .. why the hell am I here ..??
he is sick of eating those Ramen noodles for dinner everyday ..
he misses those spicy recipes his mom used to make ..
the attention he used to get as a brilliant student back home ..
he gets pretty depressed ..

but what are friends for ..
his desi friends realize Jay's pity state pretty soon ..

        jawa ho yaaro ye tumako hua kya ..
        aji hamako dekho jara
        ke maana abhi hai khaali haath,
        na hoge sada yahi din raat,
        kabhito banegi apani baat ..
        aaare yaaro ..

the life goes on ..
Jay is back to his work ..
Jay finally decides to hang around for yet another semester
and graduate in december, which will give him some more
time to look for jobs ..

(background     kabhito milegi
                kahito milegi ..
                bahaaron ki manzhil .. raahi ..

with his free time he gets involved in lot of 
social activities, and becomes
prime target of ISA janata for all favors while people
adore him and write stories about him in "Ekta" the ISA magazine !

(background Jalwa music ..)
so he is where the ISA guy who picked him up at Cedar Rapids was
two years ago ..
waiting at the airport for a new desi guy "Vijay"
but our "Jay" muses he is basically "Re-jay" .. 
back here to relive the cycle !

        dekho dekho .. ye hai Iowa ..